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Jeeves in the Morning Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Posted by j128 in Jeeves & Wooster, Technology.
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Jeeves, played by Stephen Fry

Jeeves (Stephen Fry) as seen in Jeeves and Wooster

Yes, “Jeeves in the Morning” is actually a title of one of the books in the Jeeves canon, but this time it is not referring to a book title. Instead, it is an article concerning a clock.

How many people have read and watched Jeeves “gliding” and “shimmying” about? Doing his duties and bailing Bertie out of trouble and helping Bertie’s friends when they need it? I am quite sure that many of us who read P.G. Wodehouse’s stories that star Bertie and his long-suffering valet Jeeves find themselves wishing they had someone as dependable and reliable as Jeeves – I often find myself feeling that way, too! Jeeves is not only the perfect gentleman’s gentleman, but he is also a hero. Thus, it may be advisable to invite Jeeves into your home:)

The clock that this article is concerning itself with, remedies, to a degree, our wanting of Jeeves or someone similar. The “Jeeves Clock”, developed by Voco, is voiced by Stephen Fry and has messages that play when the alarm goes off, and at the end of the message the alarm beeps until the Cancel button is pressed, at which point another message is played, such as “Sir has a firm touch, but very fair.” There is also a ninety-second relaxation exercise that is activated at the touch of a button. It won’t stop “talking” until one actually gets up.

To quote from Voco, “The Voco Alarm will lure a man from his secret recesses with the sound of gentle birdsong. This is followed by a discreet cough. Then the comforting words, “Good morning, sir,” insinuate themselves into the room. This is followed by a message – a different one every morning (there are six months’ worth, before they start repeating, depending on how you use the clock).”

Of course, until recently, this was a gentleman’s alarm clock, judging by the usage of “sir.” Yet now there is a female version available, also voiced by Stephen Fry as Jeeves, and it does all the same things as the gentleman’s clock, yet instead it uses “madam” instead of “sir.” To quote from Voco, “The Voco Alarm will lure a lady from her secret recesses with the sound of gentle birdsong. This is followed by a discreet cough. Then the comforting words, “Good morning, Madam,” insinuate themselves into the room. This is followed by a message – a different one every morning (there are six months’ worth, before they start repeating, depending on how you use the clock).”

There are three editions of the Jeeves Clock: The original “Good Morning, Sir” with fifty messages for every morning, the second edition voiced by Stephen Fry “Good Morning, Sir”, and the ladies’ edition “Good Morning, Madam”, also voiced by Stephen Fry and the latter two have one hundred and fifty messages for every morning. There isn’t any difference in the two gentleman Jeeves clocks, except for the clock faces. The original “Good Morning, Sir” alarm clock is on the top, and the new “Good Morning, Sir” alarm clock below. The new “Good Morning, Sir” shares the same design on the clock face with the “Good Morning, Madam”.

Voco \

The original "Good Morning, Sir" clock

Voco \

The new "Good Morning, Sir" clock; note that the "Good Morning, Madam" shares the same design

On the Voco website, you may listen to samples of the messages and the ninety-second relaxation exercise, with only gender-specific alterations depending on the samples you choose. You may also download some of the samples on their website, see the Downloads section of their website, click the “Good Morning, Sir” (Original) and from there you can download the samples from the gentleman and lady’s clock. Here are some text samples from the two gents clock and the ladies clock.

On a personal note, I myself prefer the gentleman clock as I think it is more authentic and also keeps within the time period of Jeeves and Bertie.

“Good Morning, Sir” (Original) & “Good Morning, Sir”

“The Prime Minister called again, sir. I told him you weren’t available, of course. We shan’t be treated like that again!”

“I’m sorry to disturb you, sir, but it appears to be morning. Very inconvenient, I agree. I believe it is the rotation of the Earth to blame, sir.”

“I’m afraid the staff has absconded, sir. And it is my day off. I trust it will not be too onerous to make your own exquisitely sliced toast and perfectly cooked breakfast?”

“The world has been very anxious to hear from you for the last eight hours. Shall I inform the news agencies you are about to rise, sir?”

“Your horoscope is promising very considerable profit and equal quantities of pleasure. Unlikely as this may currently appear, the world merely requires your presence for the process to begin.”

“Good Morning, Madam”

“Good morning, Madam. Let me draw the curtains and pour your tea. There are two little croissants from your special supplier which have no calories whatsoever. In the pots is a special sort of jam that consumes more calories than it produces. Eating it actually makes you thin.”

“Good morning, Madam. Your horoscope is extremely pleasing this morning. It appears that all shall be well and that all manner of things shall be well. You have only to persist in your natural way and the world will succumb to your wishes.”

“Good morning, Madam. It appears you may need to frighten some people at work. Shall I put out your Chanel suit with the Louboutin shoes? Or the Giorgio Armani? Very good, Madam.”

Links

Voco – Clocks that talk…a lot!

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Comments»

1. jiimiona - Thursday, August 14, 2008

your site is getting better 🙂


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